


bellflower and aster

by catsvspatriarchy



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-08
Updated: 2020-03-08
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:42:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23064922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catsvspatriarchy/pseuds/catsvspatriarchy
Summary: prompt from this post: dansenfics.tumblr.com/post/189241485107/i-really-want-this-on-the-show-but-until-thatEarly on in their relationship, Alex and Kelly take a trip to Midvale.
Relationships: Alex Danvers/Kelly Olsen
Comments: 21
Kudos: 88





	bellflower and aster

**Author's Note:**

> hello friends,
> 
> "write a story from a prompt," they said. "it'll be short and easy!" they said.
> 
> comments are very welcome! i hope you enjoy the story.

They're stopped at the side of the road, and Kelly is leaning against the hood of the car, drinking takeout coffee from a paper cup. 

“It's so green up here,” she says, eyes on the line of trees parallel to the road. There's lush grass overgrown; a mess of green dragonflies zipping; a forest leading away from them along a dirt path.

“You've said that twice already,” Alex says.

Kelly leans over her lover, who is sitting cross-legged on the ground in front of her, drinking her own coffee like it's salvation. She laces her free hand into Alex's hair, and scratches lightly at the base of her neck.

“Kara said you'd be grouchy.”

Alex leans back into her touch, closing her eyes. “Kara was right. Sorry. It's not your fault.”

Kelly hums a sound that could be agreement, and sits down beside her, resting her back against the bumper. Something sticks into her, and she fidgets, trying to find a comfortable place.

“Here,” says Alex, putting an arm around her back. Kelly shuffles sideways on her butt and leans back against Alex's arm. 

“Ah,” she says. “Better.”

“I aim to please,” Alex says, and kisses her forehead with coffee-warmed lips.

They sit in the quiet for a long moment. The engine still ticks, heat escaping into the shaded air, and insects flick through the long grass almost inaudibly. Kelly breathes in the scent of the road, of the loamy earth, and of Alex - of sunscreen and perspiration and the pent-up frustration she'd been emanating all along the long drive.

“You want to talk about it?”

“It's just annoying. It's the first weekend we've both been off for so long, and Eliza needs help. Like she can't manage a yard sale herself. Like she couldn't ask Kara.”

“I don't mind,” Kelly says. “And Kara's busy with that big story.”

“Kara's always busy with a big story,” Alex says sullenly. “I don't think this, uh, story was that important. She could have escaped for one weekend to sell family heirlooms to strangers. That kind of thing's right up her alley.”

“It'll be fine,” Kelly says. “It gives us a chance to spend time together. Plus, I love road trips. All the fun of a vacation without actually going on vacation.”

“We should go somewhere nice next time.”

“This is somewhere nice,” Kelly says, snuggling into her.

“Oh,” says Alex, softly. “Yeah, it is.”

Alex in a bad mood is still Kelly's favorite person. Alex in the mornings before coffee, Alex after a long day at work when she's tired and sore, Alex when she's worried and needy and flustered. Kelly's learning her, piece by piece, the good and the bad, and it's all small revelations.

“Deer,” Kelly says.

There's a beat. 

“Sweetheart?”

“No, a deer,” Kelly says, and points toward the trees. The animal arrived so silently they didn't hear it, or maybe it had been there all along and Kelly just noticed. It's watching them, cautious but soft-eyed, and Kelly is struck by the grace in the long lines of it, the strength in its fine bones.

They hear a car approaching before they see it, and Kelly glances at the road, and when she looks back to the trees the deer is gone. She feels a little, inexplicable pull of sadness, and the car slows down. Kelly expects it to drive by, but the driver pulls over, letting the engine idle. It's a pickup truck, an older white man, and Alex is on her feet before Kelly notices she's moved.

“Hi,” Alex calls over, and leans back on the hood of Kelly's car, in a gesture that looks relaxed and possessive. There's something about it that rubs Kelly the wrong way, but she doesn't have time to analyze the feeling.

The driver peers at them. “You girls all right out here?” He levels his glance at Kelly, and she makes herself smile and raise a hand in greeting.

“Just taking a break,” Alex says, and Kelly thinks most people would not notice the tension in the line of her back, the slightest flicker of her gun hand toward her belt. She's not wearing a belt – she's in a sweatshirt and jeans so old they look about to fall right off, but Kelly guesses habits die hard.

* * *

They switch out driving, at least in part because Kelly can see the inactivity drives Alex nuts. She's calmer herself, or maybe she's just learned to be, over years of sitting in place waiting to be told where to go next. 

“How long since you've been back home?”

Alex looks over at her with a half smile, then back at the road. “Kara and I were up for Christmas, and a long weekend this year. Work makes it hard to get up here to visit. Also, I don't really want to.”

Kelly laughs. “That bad?”

Alex grimaces; shakes her head. “I guess I never really shook off high school.”

“What were you like back then?” Kelly asks curiously.

“Angry,” Alex says. “Bratty. Goth-y. Otherwise pretty much the same.”

“Goth?” Kelly asks, feeling a smile spread across her face. “There are pictures, right?”

Alex groans. “What about you? What were you like in high school?”

“JROTC, studying, church. Didn't leave a lot of free time.”

“You nerd.”

“Nerd with a 4.0 and a free ride, sucker.”

“Oh, you're really gonna come at me?” Alex laughs. “Although, you're right. I was lucky. We had enough money for college, and I picked up some scholarships.”

“You never considered the Army? It attracts the same kind of personality types as law enforcement. It might have been something you'd be comfortable in.”

Alex shakes her head, not looking away from the road. “I had some stuff going on back then. Discipline was not exactly on my radar.”

Kelly considers. “It's not exactly on your radar now.” 

“Hey,” says Alex. “I can be disciplined. For the right motivation, anyway.”

“You lost your dad around then, right?”

“Yeah.” Alex sobers. “Turned out he wasn't dead, just – it's complicated.”

“Yeah,” says Kelly. “I know about complicated.”

“I know,” Alex says, and holds out her hand, palm up. Kelly takes it for a moment, lacing their fingers together, traces her thumb down Alex's palm, then releases.

“You need to drive,” Kelly says.

“You had to buy a stick shift,” Alex says. “I could have had my hand on your knee this whole ride.”

“I would definitely object to that,” Kelly says firmly. “That's not safe.”

“Baby, _I'm_ not safe.”

There's a long pause, long enough that the smirk drops off Alex's face and she glances away from the road and at Kelly.

Kelly keeps a straight face as long as she can, but finally breaks into a laugh that is embarrassingly close to a giggle. “That is so cheesy. You need to work on your pick up lines. How are you going to impress women with lines like that?”

“I really only want to impress one particular woman,” Alex says, raising an eyebrow.

“No,” says Kelly, still laughing. “No, that one's even worse.”

* * *

It's after dark when they get in, and the street lights line the quiet streets sporadically. It's a clear, indigo-blue night, and a breeze ruffles the leaves on the trees along their way. 

Kelly cranes her neck to look up and out of the window. “You can see the stars,” she says quietly.

Eliza meets them at the car before they've finished pulling into the driveway. “You're late,” she says to Alex.

“We started late,” Alex says, and hugs her. “Sorry,” she says, voice muffled.

They step back from each other, and Kelly sees Eliza looking her daughter up and down, assessing.

Alex moves to step toward her and to the other side of the car; to Kelly.

“Mom, this is Kelly,” Alex says.

Kelly takes a step forward; suddenly unsure what to do with her hands, she holds one out. “It's good to meet you, Doctor Danvers.”

“Eliza,” says Eliza firmly, and pulls her into an unexpected hug. Kelly tenses, then relaxes and leans into it. Alex's mom is a good hugger, like Alex – she hugs like she means it. “I've already heard so much about you - you're all Alex talks about. I'm glad we're finally meeting.”

Kelly glances over the other woman's shoulder at Alex. Alex shifts uncomfortably, stepping back and busying herself straightening a weather vane attached to the fence that, to Kelly, looks fairly straight and securely attached already.

“She hasn't heard _that_ much. I don't talk about you that much.”

Eliza steps back. “Oh, not that much, of course not.” She winks at Kelly.

“Please stop,” Alex grumbles, and reaches past Kelly to grab her overnight bag from the car.

* * *

Kelly's surprised at how big the house is. It's beautiful; crafted wood and open balconies and lots of windows. Where she comes from, it would mean old money, but she knows from experience that things are different on this coast.

“I set up the old study for Kelly,” Eliza says, walking them through. 

Kelly feels at home in the room right away – it's tidy, but crowded with bookshelves and the twin bed is freshly made with striped sheets. There are photos in frames in among the wide selection of books – she finds herself scanning titles and trying not to stare obviously at the photos.

“Go ahead and look at the photos,” Alex says, from the doorway. “I can tell you're dying to.”

“I wasn't,” lies Kelly, but immediately picks one up. It's Alex: fresh-faced, her hair longer and darker, her expression troubled; and Kara: younger and softer and smiling brightly.

“I remember that photo,” Eliza says to Alex. “It was a fight to get you two to pose for it. You were always arguing back then.” 

“Really?” Kelly asks. “They're so close now.”

“It took us a while to properly appreciate each other,” Alex says. “Also, I was kinda hell on wheels.”

“You really were,” Eliza laughs. “That's teenagers, though. You'll find out when you have your own kids.”

Alex makes a strangled kind of noise, and Kelly uses the opportunity to put her overnight bag down beside the bed. The room smells of clean laundry and sea-air and books, and she breathes it in appreciatively.

“Come on,” says Alex. “I'll give you the tour.”

“Let Kelly freshen up, it's a long drive,” Eliza says.

“She's fresh enough already,” Alex says, with a grin.

“I'm fine, we stopped a few times and Alex did half the driving. It wasn't a hard trip.” She takes a few steps around the room. “It's so quiet up here.”

“A different world,” Eliza agrees, and nods toward the doorway. “Did you two eat dinner yet?”

“Not yet,” Alex says. “We figured we'd get something in town.”

“Did you eat yet?” Kelly asks Eliza. “Would you join us? I'd love to see around Midvale a little. It looks so beautiful.”

“You're so polite,” Eliza says. “Alex, she's so polite.” It's a compliment, but there's also the faintest hint of passive-aggression in her tone, mom-style: Kelly's familiar from her own family, the unspoken hint that _Alex, you're not_. Kelly opens her mouth to defuse the moment, but she's not familiar with their dynamic yet, and she hesitates.

“I'm aware,” says Alex.

“I'd love to,” Eliza says. “Alex, show her around and come back down when you're ready. Also, change out of those jeans, you've had them since college.”

“Yeah, yeah,” says Alex, and when Kelly walks through the doorway to her, she puts a hand on her back to guide her.

* * *

"Did you and Kara always share a room?"

"Until I left for college." Alex is reclining on her bed, watching Kelly. Kelly's taking in the teenage ambiance, more pictures - including one in the punk phase heralded by Kara, and has already laughed several times at young Alex's taste in music.

"How was that?" Kelly wants to sit down, but it feels invasive to sit on Kara's bed when she's not here. She sits down cross legged on the floor, instead, leaning against Kara's bed frame.

"The sharing or the going away?" Alex asks, but doesn't wait for her to answer. "Good and bad, but overall I liked it. We were always there for each other, you know? If I woke up in the middle of the night, I could wake her and talk. It was one of my favorite things. When I left for college, we still talked and emailed a lot - Kara always loved to write, I'd get these five-page emails about her day - but it was hard being away from her. I really missed her. I was – lonely. A lot."

Kelly listens. The light from outdoors has faded completely now, and Alex's bedside lamp casts a small pool.

“She and Eliza must have been glad to have each other when you were away.”

“They've always been close,” Alex says.

“She's supportive of your relationships,” Kelly says, a little awkwardly. “Accepting.”

“Accepting,” Alex laughs. “You have no idea. You should have seen her organizing our engagement par-” Alex stops; stills.

“I don't expect you to not have a past,” Kelly says softly, after a moment. “We're both adults, we've got history, we've been in other relationships. There's no need to feel awkward.”

“I pretty much always feel awkward,” Alex says. "But not with you. Which is weird. Come here.”

“Weird?” Kelly laughs and shakes her head. "No, if I lie down now, I'll fall asleep."

"Would that be so bad?" Alex is long and languid in the bed; almost catlike. Alex at home, here and at her apartment, is such a contrast to Alex working or with her friends, when she's always buzzing. "Come on. If you fall asleep I'll wake you."

Kelly crawls toward her, and climbs up onto the bed with only slight soreness in her bad knee. _Getting old_ , she thinks ruefully, but it's really the product of running out her youth in the service. She curls in next to Alex, who slips an arm under her neck and wraps the other around her back.

"Hey, stranger," Alex says. Their faces are almost touching; they breathe each other's air. Kelly leans forward and brushes her lips against her lover's; it's gentle, feather-light, and Alex moves against her, settling into Kelly's body and her bones. It's been another revelation, how tactile Alex is when they're out of public and professional environments. It surprised Kelly at first, but she's coming to expect and love it - Alex's arm over her shoulder while they're watching TV, her hand on Kelly's thigh under the table while they eat breakfast, even a brush of thumb-pressure when she hands Kelly a bag of apples at the market. It's all measured, careful, and caring in ways Kelly's coming to trust. 

_I could fall in love with this woman_ , she thinks, and is not startled by that thought, but the one that comes after: _Maybe I already am_.

"You asleep?" Alex asks, nuzzling her hair. 

"No," Kelly says. "But don't trust my word. I can talk in my sleep."

"I'd trust your word," Alex says, so quietly Kelly almost doesn't hear, and then, louder: "But I really want to experience Kelly Olsen sleeptalking. What kind of things do you say? Is it scary? Is it responsible and grown-up like everything else you do? Is it PG-rated?"

"None of the above," says Kelly, laughing into Alex's neck. "But you'll have to wait to find out. I don't do it all the time."

"Probably a stress response," Alex muses, and Kelly involuntarily finds herself tensing. "Hey." Alex pulls back, puts a finger under Kelly's chin and tilts her head up gently. "Where'd you just go?"

"Nowhere," Kelly says, and makes herself relax. "I'm right here."

* * *

Alex sleeps heavily, as she always does at home, but she wakes up ridiculously early, when it's still dark but the stars are fading. She tries reading on her phone for a while, but after she's read the same paragraph four times and still not retained anything from it, she gives up.

There's coffee in the kitchen, in its usual place. Everything in here is in its place. She waits for the water to heat up while looking out the window, out at the yard. 

She's been trying to avoid it, to be honest. Eliza's started laying out things she's planning to sell and there are canvas-covered shapes sitting ghostlike on the grass. She's noticed without commenting, too, the boxes sitting around the house - a glance in one showed items labeled with prices Alex automatically thought were too low. This was going to be hard. It's just stuff, but it's hers and Kara's stuff, her father's stuff, their family history, good and bad. It's a portent, too, of change and of loss, of the end of things. She's not ready for things to end.

She supposes no-one ever really is.

There's sounds of movement from Kelly's room, so she fills two mugs and adds cream and sugar to one. With a mug in each hand, she has to tap on the door with a fingernail.

“You awake?” she asks, quietly, cognizant of Eliza down the hall.

Kelly opens the door after a moment. There's still a trace of sleep on her face, but she's unpinned her hair already and brushed it out, and it hangs straight and glossy and loose to her shoulders. She's still wearing the oversized men's shirt she sometimes sleeps in, sleeves covering her hands, and thick socks and her face is without a trace of makeup. Alex has seen a lot of beautiful things in her life, but this is definitely top five.

* * *

She's been attracted to Kelly since the first moment she saw her, she can admit it. There was the hospital, and there was James, and the whole world was going to hell, and even though Alex is kind of used to that sort of thing by now, Kelly clearly wasn't. She'd been worried about James and a little fractured, but there was still that center of calm about her, and Alex had been stupidly, teenage-girl smitten.

That hasn't been a completely unusual experience for her in the last few years. She wonders sometimes if coming out later; if realizing who she truly was at a more mature age, has given her a chance to experience crushes and attraction more clearly than she has since she actually was a teenager and trying desperately to force her feelings back down.

She appreciates women. She can look at her friends and drink in the sight of them, the lines and curves that make them up. It isn't creepy - or at least she thinks it isn't - and she would never act on it, would never do anything to make them uncomfortable. She never would have done anything to make Kelly uncomfortable: the kind of rejection that broke her baby-gay heart would pale in comparison to being inappropriate with someone who was only interested in being her friend. But the universe, and Kelly, it seemed, had other plans.

* * *

They wind up out on the balcony; Kelly wrapping her hands around her coffee and leaning back against the railing, looking up at the sky. Alex sits on the love seat, breathing in the cold early air, the day unstarted. There's no hint of sunrise yet; the morning is still flecked with fog and the air velvet soft. Alex has already shrugged off her hoodie and given it to Kelly, who initially protested (“then you'll be cold”) but gave in and put it on. 

“Kara and I used to love looking at the stars,” Alex tells her, and tries to mentally calculate where Kelly would have been on some of those nights. It's a romantic fancy, and she shakes it off after a moment, embarrassed to have thought it; embarrassed that Kelly might catch her thinking it.

“Seems like this is a good place to raise kids,” Kelly says.

“Yeah,” Alex says. “Well, yeah, but you know, bad things happen everywhere. That's human nature, I guess. Kara and I had to grow up fast.”

Kelly nods, her gaze still up on the sky. Alex remembers, after a moment, that Kelly grew up fast too.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Of course,” Kelly says.

“Where did you – I don't know, see your life going? If things went differently, with your – fiancee.” It's awkward, the way Alex asks it, but she wants to know, and she doesn't know a better way to ask.

Kelly exhales. “Um,” she says, and puts her coffee on the balcony rail so she can fidget with her sleeves. It's an uncharacteristic tell; one Alex hasn't seen in her before. “Well, the usual, I suppose. Marriage, kids, careers, a little house somewhere quiet.”

“Your fiancee wanted kids too?” Alex asks, but quietly.

“We both did,” Kelly says. “She - she came from a big family.”

Alex stands up and takes a few steps over to her. “You don't say her name very often.”

Kelly looks at her hands. “No. I suppose it's a way of distancing myself. It's still - hard to talk about. And I never had many opportunities to talk about it. I guess I'm still dealing with some of the fallout.”

“We don't have to talk about it,” Alex says gently. “If it's hard. Or - we can talk about it later. Whatever you're comfortable with.”

“It's okay,” Kelly says. “It's all a part of it, a part of me, I guess. For better or worse.”

“Like you said, we've both got history,” Alex says, and takes another step forward. She catches Kelly's hands in her own and stills them, and just takes a moment to watch her. Kelly calms her in a way nothing in her life ever has; she feels like she's drinking cool water and she'll never be full.

Kelly looks at their joined hands and drops her gaze, almost demurely, before taking another step into Alex and kissing her. It's a little off-center at first: she kisses the corner of Alex's mouth, then her cheek, then finds her way back to her lips with a faint hum that leaves Alex vibrating.

Kelly pulls back then, and takes a moment to look at her. It's becoming familiar to Alex now, the regular check-in, Kelly's careful consideration that she's okay, that she's still into this. It makes her wonder when Kelly got this careful, and why, but she's not complaining. Kelly treats her like she's special, like her opinion matters, like she's the most important person in the world. It's a little unnerving. It's intoxicating. 

"Kiss me again," Alex says, her voice low and soft. "Don't go away."

"I'm not -" Kelly says, and is cut off when Alex mimics her movements and kisses the corner of her mouth, then claims her lips, teeth nibbling. "I'm not going anywhere," she finishes, a little breathless.

Alex's own eyelids are heavy; she can feel a flush of warmth rolling through her body. She kisses her again, testing the softness of her mouth, and runs her hands up over Kelly's shirt, inside the hoodie. Kelly's lean and fine-boned: Alex is always surprised, for a moment, when she touches her and remembers how small she is, how delicate.

She's not delicate, though, in the way she matches Alex, in the way she can push her back, in the way she fucks her, in the way their new union makes Alex feel. Alex has begged in ways she's never begged; sweated and wept through orgasms so intense they made her muscles ache; gone back to her apartment afterward sore and quiet of mind.

She likes to think she gives as much as she takes, and there's something world-changing about Kelly whimpering, about Kelly asking for more, about _Kelly_ , the look in her eyes and the feel of her tight around Alex's fingers, her soft skin and strong fingers and thin ropes of muscle.

Thinking about it now, she can't keep her hands steady - she runs her hands back down Kelly's back, over her buttocks and the tops of her thighs, finding the hem of her shirt and slipping her hands underneath, craving skin on skin. She can feel the heat beneath the surface, tracing her fingers up Kelly's thighs, to the soft curve of her hip, to the tremble of her stomach. Kelly breathes sharply, and Alex isn't sure if she's surprised or turned on or both. She kisses her again, harder, teeth against teeth and tongue demanding, and moves her hand lower again, traces the hem of Kelly's panties above her pubic bone and slips her fingers between fabric and skin. She can feel sparse, coarse hair against her palm, hear Kelly's breath coming out in hard bursts, like she's running, like Alex is working her hard. Alex wants to work her hard, and the thought makes her groan out loud and pause for a moment.

"Okay?" Kelly asks, when a second's passed.

Alex breathes, long and ragged. "Definitely okay," she says, and traces a circle with one hand. "More than okay."

Kelly's eyes are huge and dark on her. She presses her body against Alex, hitching up a leg and hooking it around her. Alex takes the hint, pushing her backwards until they hit the railing, and she disengages her hand from Kelly's clothes and settles them on her hips, half-lifting her up onto the rail, their weight against the wood and Kelly wrapping her other leg around Alex's waist.

Alex can set the pace this way, she realizes, arousal fizzing in her belly. She loves the switch of power between the two of them: she loves hearing Kelly cry out for her, hand over control, trust her implicitly. She also loves handing over her own control, although it's hard for her to intellectualize, when Kelly takes over Alex's blood roars in her veins, she flushes like fire and whines for more.

Now, though, her eyes are only on Kelly, soft and pliant and at her mercy. She leans in for a wet kiss and slips her hand back under the shirt and back into Kelly's panties. 

"Up," she says, when she breaks for air, and Kelly obligingly tries to shuffle around. It's an awkward angle - she pulls until she hears elastic snap, and Kelly mutters: "Ow," into her mouth.

"Sorry," says Alex, not sorry.

"Uh huh," says Kelly, drawing back a little and kissing down Alex's neck. The position's perfect - with her neck curved down she can suck on Alex's pulse point in the way that makes her shiver, and Alex tips her head back, feeling her hair flip back and brush against her cheeks, feeling herself becoming dangerously distracted.

"No," she says, when she remembers to breathe again, and Kelly looks at her, eyes barely focusing, a wrinkle of confusion between her brows. She finally wrestles the panties free, and the scrap of material falls to the floor, and instead of explaining Alex wants to show what she means.

She starts working at the buttons of Kelly's shirt with an unsteady hand, and Kelly puts a hand over hers.

"Neighbors," she says.

"Half a mile away," Alex tells her. "And it's still dark."

"Good enough," Kelly says, and leans in for another kiss, the angle letting Alex free another button. She pushes the fabric open, and Kelly wobbles for a moment, then puts a hand on the railing to steady herself.

"I've got you," Alex says, slipping a hand around her lover's hip, anchoring her. She leans in, and kisses the tops of Kelly's collarbones, one by one, then lower, to the space between her breasts. She pauses, drinking in the sight, then traces a line down Kelly's chest with her open mouth, slowly sucking at the skin. Kelly groans and threads her free hand through Alex's hair, pressing her in deeper. Her nipples are pebbled and erect in the cool air, and Alex traces her breasts with lips and tongue and teeth, the perfect softness making her ache.

"God," she says against skin. " _Kel_."

Kelly sighs in response, and when Alex teases one nipple with her teeth, hisses air through her teeth.

Alex pauses. "Too much?"

"Not enough," Kelly tells her. "I need more. I need you."

Alex bites her lip, looking at her. Kelly's so beautiful in the half-light reaching them from indoors, lips kiss-stung and eyes hungry. Alex can feel the pulse of want traveling through her whole body - she's getting desperate for their skin to be together, for the friction of them one on one.

She pauses though - holds herself back. She wants this to be about Kelly, about how Kelly makes her feel, sitting up on the balcony rail of her childhood home, looking at her like she wants to be devoured. There are things she wants Kelly to know that she's not sure she can put into words.

Instead, she answers what she can.

"You've got me," Alex says, and pulls her forward a little, so they are flush against each other. Kelly's body heat radiates into her, and she moves her hand from the railing and puts it around Alex's shoulder, holding her in place. Alex moves her mouth back to the other woman's nipple and this time she sucks hard, her hand pressing against Kelly's back, and bites down. Kelly whines; a sound Alex feels all through her own body. Her fingers dig into Alex's shoulder and Alex moves to the other breast, starting by licking gently and ending by sucking as hard as she can, sounds of wetness slipping through the air, catching her breath when she can. Kelly drops her head to Alex's shoulder, whimpering into her neck, trying to stay quiet. Alex smooths her hand down Kelly's ass, feeling the strength of muscle, tracing a line under her thigh and making Kelly shift her weight again, making her lean against her.

Kelly shifts her weight onto her other side, and Alex takes the hint; flutters her fingertips along her lover's thighs before running her fingers against her sex. She's already soaked with want, and wetness runs down Alex's fingers immediately.

"Oh," says Alex, through a panted breath. "Um, wow."

Kelly frees a hand from Alex's shoulder with what seems like some effort, fists a hand in her hair and pulls her head back, so they can see eye to eye.

"You're keeping me waiting," she says, voice low and husky and strong, and it hits Alex right at her core. Kelly needy and wanton and demanding, Kelly forceful and commanding, _Kelly_.

Alex wants more; wants Kelly begging, wants this to never end. She slows her hand.

"What do you want?" she murmurs it, into Kelly's ear, finishes by tonguing the lobe, feather-light.

Kelly's breath huffs out, and she presses against Alex almost impossibly tighter. 

"Alex Danvers, put your fingers in me before I kick your ass."

There's a moment of silence while Alex is stunned, and then she laughs out loud.

"Oh my God," she says, almost to herself, and then to Kelly: "Yes, ma'am."

She slips one finger between Kelly's labia, rubs her thumb almost absentmindedly against her clit, and then twists her hand and pushes a finger inside her. Kelly jerks forward, into her, and Alex uses her other hand to try and steady them both.

Kelly's breathing is ragged. "Too much?"

"Definitely n-," Alex starts, and then stops. Kelly is so soft and hot and wet, tight around her finger. She experimentally adds another, hears the groan of approval, curls her fingers and presses. She's losing her train of thought, but she manages to answer: "Definitely not. Please - Jesus, Kel - order me around any time."

"I'll keep it in mind," Kelly says, with some difficulty. She moves her hand down Alex's back and Alex feels fabric slide past her feet, but she's beyond being able to focus on that. Instead, she draws her fingers back minutely and thrusts forward until Kelly bites down on her neck. 

She can feel Kelly's teeth on her skin, her hot breath on her collarbone, and Kelly's body is shaking and hot with need. Alex's world narrows to a pinpoint – her fingers, sliding in and out of her lover; Kelly's breathless sounds; Alex's blood pulsing through her veins until she feels like she'll shake apart herself. Her legs are starting to wobble and she lets the railing take more of her weight. With her weight behind her, her fingers slide hard into Kelly again; too hard, Alex thinks, and inches back, opening her mouth to apologize, but Kelly is grinding forward into her, clenching around Alex's fingers, the softness of her starting to ripple against Alex's fingertips. There's more wetness in her hand, she can feel it in the cool air on her wrist, and she curves her fingers again, drags them against Kelly's front wall, and then Kelly is biting down harder, the noises she's making unintelligible against Alex's neck, and she comes with a whimper that makes Alex laugh even as she's trying to catch her breath herself.

It's both strange and familiar, by now. _It's beautiful_ , Alex thinks suddenly. The thought hits her out of nowhere, and it rings in her head. It's true. They're beautiful together – Alex who has never felt beautiful, not really, but feels it when Kelly looks at her with softness and desire in her eyes. It's all happened so soon, and Kelly's so perfect (“No one is perfect, Alex,” she can imagine Kelly saying in her head, complete with eyeroll), smart and kind and fierce and loyal, sweet and hot and responsive, trembling under her touch. She fucks Alex like it means something, she looks at Alex like it means something, and she trusts her and listens to her and Alex's hands and mouth set her body alight. It's an ego boost, and Alex has never been immune to flattery from pretty women, but it's more than that too.

“Hey,” she says, softly, when Kelly's shaking has slowed. She shifts her fingers, sliding them out of Kelly's wetness, slowing when Kelly twitches from over-sensitivity. She sucks her fingers almost absently and strokes a hand down the other woman's back, then pulls her shirt closed with one hand, trying to thread buttons back into their holes with a not-quite steady hand.

Kelly pulls back, then, and raises her head off Alex's shoulder. Her eyes are damp and glassy but her body's loose and relaxed in the way she only seems to get after sex; Alex thinks, the only time she really lets herself.

“You're amazing,” Alex tells her, voice low and reverent. “God, you're amazing.”

“Mm,” says Kelly, and visibly tries to compose herself. “Help me down?” She shifts forward on the railing, and Alex takes her weight, noticing with a grin the tremble still in Kelly's legs.

“Shut up,” Kelly says.

“Didn't say a word,” Alex says, still smiling.

Kelly crouches to pick her underwear up off the floor, and Alex gives her her hand to stand up again.

“Sun's about to come up,” she says, and points at the horizon. There's the faintest silver-gold glow; a lightening of the blue.

“We have a lot to do today,” Kelly observes. She watches the sky for a moment, and Alex watches her.

“Yeah,” Alex says.

Kelly turns her head; fixes her gaze on Alex. “You're not happy to be here,” she says; calmly; without judgment, like everything Kelly says. It hurts Alex deep in her heart sometimes; how kind Kelly is, how gentle with her.

She tries for flirtatious; uncomfortable with the clear, direct emotion. “You make me pretty happy.”

Kelly watches her for another moment, then drops her gaze. “I'm pushing. We don't have to talk about it.”

“You're not pushing,” Alex says.

“You should tell me when I'm being a therapist.”

“I like it when you're being a therapist. I like it even better when you're being a therapist and holding the panties I ripped off you.”

“We have a word for this kind of thing in therapy, you know.”

“Oh really?” Alex says, relieved at the change of conversation. She leans sideways against the railing, and lets Kelly move closer to the house. “Is it a sexy word?”

“No therapy words are sexy,” Kelly says, over her shoulder, and she's smiling again.

“That Freud,” Alex says, picking up their mugs for something to do with her hands, and catching up with her, unwilling to be too far apart. She wants to touch Kelly again; craves it, but it's too much, too soon, too clingy. She needs to keep a handle on this. “He was such a liar. Breakfast?”

“Little early, don't you think?”

“More sleep?” Alex asks hopefully. There aren't enough nights when Kelly sleeps in her arms.

“We should get dressed and start on the setup for the sale,” Kelly says.

Alex sighs. “Right.”

* * *

Alex, as the sole Danvers child in attendance, scouts the yard, sets up folding tables to use as counters, pulls canvas covers, and surreptitiously picks up and stashes her hoodie, fallen from the balcony, before Eliza notices and wonders why Alex's clothes are lying on the damp lawn.

When she goes back inside, Eliza's making breakfast, with Kelly in attendance. She stands in the kitchen doorway, watching them. 

“I can follow instructions,” Kelly's saying, while she cuts up fruit. “But if you leave me to my own devices, I can burn water.”

“Just like Alex,” Eliza says. “I don't know how you two girls don't starve.”

“Takeout,” they say simultaneously, and Kelly looks at Alex and smiles.

Alex crosses to the sink to examine what Eliza's mixing. She sticks her fingers in the bowl and tastes, and Eliza aims a slap that falls very wide of the mark.

“Alexandra, get your fingers out of that.”

Alex ducks with dramatic intensity, steps sideways and sits down at the table with Kelly. “Said no one to me ever,” she says, in an undertone.

“Ssh,” Kelly says, matching her volume, and hands her a piece of melon. Alex puts it in her mouth – it's a little unripe, a little too sour, but she doesn't say anything, she's just quiet.

* * *

Running a yard sale would not be Alex's first choice in weekend plans. But she can admit that Kelly's presence makes everything run smoothly. She listens to Eliza's opinions on everything and soothes Alex at times when she feels like strangling her own mother. She and Eliza do cash handling and customer service and Alex provides muscle, carrying furniture out to pickup trucks with the help of suburban dads, and watching things go.

The division of labor suits Alex, who's feeling restless again, like she can't sit still. Having work to do always helps, but there are long lulls. In between, she watches Kelly out of the corner of one eye. It's strange – spending a day making small talk with strangers in her mom's front yard makes Alex want to run six miles and possibly punch something, but Kelly, if anything, seems happier the more time she spends with people. It's interesting, watching her with them. People just want to open up to her. Alex is fascinated by it, but it also makes her uneasy in the way Kara's teenage naivete used to unnerve her. Kelly's a grown woman, she knows this, but something about her is so gentle it reminds Alex of how much cruelty there can be in the world. It makes her afraid. A lot of things about Kelly make her afraid.

* * *

The day goes quietly, and Alex feels herself relaxing a little. There's the hum of conversations, Kelly and Eliza making change out of a mason jar, and quiet traffic making its way up their street. It's warm in the sunshine, too, and sunlight dapples the lawn and speckles through the trees to leave patterns on the grass. It's the kind of thing Kelly always notices, and Alex finds herself paying attention to it. There's something to be said for stopping to smell the flowers.

Conversations slow, and people wander off, talking about more shopping and lunch and naps for the baby and entertainment for the kids. Alex feels the pull of longing, familiar enough now that she can almost ignore it, and goes inside for water. She takes a bottle out to Eliza, who's ditched the sale table at Kelly's suggestion, to take care of a few things in the garden out back. As she gets closer, she notices Eliza's been cutting the late-blooming flowers, collecting them in a makeshift bouquet. It's pretty, blues and purples and the green of stems and leaves. Alex hands her one of the water bottles.

“The garden looks good,” she says.

“We didn't get enough rain this summer,” Eliza sighs. “I've had to baby the roses.” She wraps the flowers into a bundle with both hands and holds it out to Alex. 

Alex, confused, doesn't move.

“To give to Kelly,” Eliza says.

“Oh,” says Alex. “Oh, uh, no, too much. We're – it's early and – I don't want – I feel like I can be, I don't know, a lot. Too much. I don't want to get too intense too fast. I'm working on it. I don't want to make any more mistakes.”

Eliza says slowly: “Okay. I didn't expect you to say that. It seems serious. You brought her here. You look at her like -”

“It doesn't matter how I look at her.” Alex feels her back stiffen like an old habit. “You don't understand. I can't make the same mistakes again. I can't – do that, not again.”

Eliza watches her for a moment – Alex feels it like an itch – before bending down to lay the flowers on the ground, carefully, next to the scraggy row of rosebushes. “Alex, you know I liked Maggie a lot.”

Alex, surprised, blinks. “I – knew. I know. What does Maggie have to do with this? She has nothing to do with this.”

“Kelly's not like Maggie.”

Alex huffs out a frustrated breath. “No, no she's not. They're different people, why would I expect them to be the same? Why do you always do this?” she finishes, realizing after the fact that the non sequitur is from other conversations, other arguments, that have been going on between her and Eliza for a lifetime. 

“I'm just saying,” Eliza says. “Don't expect her to be.”

“I don't,” Alex says, and bends to pick up the flowers. “Expect anything.”

* * *

Kelly's still watching the sale table out front; a few people are still there, picking through the last of the items slowly. Alex stops at the driveway and watches – there's a little boy she thinks she recognizes as one of the new neighbor's kids negotiating animatedly with Kelly over a box of Lego.

The kid walks away with the box, and as Alex watches, Kelly takes a few dollars out of her own back pocket and sticks it in the jar.

“He's probably been running that scam all over town,” she says when she's close enough, and Kelly startles.

“I'm prepared to take that risk.” She catches sight of the flowers. “Those are pretty. Did Eliza get her roses taken care of?”

“Like the beloved children they are,” Alex says, and hands Kelly the bouquet. “For you.”

“Aww,” Kelly says, and holds them out, away from her face, to admire them. “What kind of flowers are they?”

“Um,” says Alex. “Those ones are purple, and those ones are blue.”

Kelly laughs. “I'll ask Eliza.”

“Don't,” Alex says. “Unless you want a lecture on the history of horticulture in human civilization and the unsustainability of the current florist industry. She never does anything by halves.”

“You Danvers women are very passionate.”

“Not just about flowers,” Alex says, and leans in for a kiss.

* * *

Late afternoon, yard sale attendance slows further, and there's nothing to do. Eliza locks up, puts a FREE sign on everything that's left, and they go to the marina. Eliza brings her camera and snaps photos of the late afternoon; reflections off the water, and people throwing sticks for their dogs.

She and Kelly look over the photos, shading their eyes against the glare on the digital screen, while Alex walks the beach.

“You make a really lovely couple,” Eliza says, while Kelly's gaze lingers on one of the photos of her and Alex sitting on one of the bench seats, Alex's arms around her and her smile lighter than air. “I can email those to you.” There's a pause. “Alex has – she's had a tough couple of years. More than a couple, honestly. I'm glad she found you.”

Kelly smiles. “I think I found her.”

“James has been such a big part of Kara and Alex's lives. We all love him.”

“I do too,” Kelly says, politely. She senses Eliza's working up to something, and she's happy to wait, here in the sunshine and the sea air and the faintest spindrift spray from the water. It's such a beautiful day, she thinks, and her gaze finds Alex at the shoreline, looking out toward the horizon. Her hair's tousled from the light breeze and the way she keeps running her fingers through it; there's something of a wild animal in the coiled spring of her body, like she's supposed to be running or supposed to be in the sea. Alex is such a study in dichotomy – Kelly thinks she can come to know her, but she'll never fully puzzle her out, and the thought of trying, of being a part of her life, is like a leaf unfurling in the morning sun.

Kelly notices a slight movement out of the corner of her eye, and when she looks over, Eliza is watching her, tracking her gaze. It's a little awkward, suddenly, to have been caught out staring at Alex, and she looks down at the beach in front of them instead.

“Your family,” Eliza starts, then stops. 

Kelly raises her head; looks into the other woman's eyes. “You can ask me whatever you'd like,” she says softly.

Eliza releases a breath. “I just wondered if your family are – supportive, of you? It's hard, you know. I worry. I don't say it to Alex because I support her; I love who she is; I am always behind her. It's just that the rest of the world -” she trails off.

“Isn't,” Kelly finishes for her. “Necessarily. And you don't want her to be hurt.”

“She will be,” Eliza says, and now her own gaze goes to Alex at the waterline. “I know that. I can't protect her. This world is hard enough to live in, and my girls -” she pauses again.

“I love who she is, too,” Kelly says, without thinking. She doesn't contemplate the words until they're already out, and it's a strange feeling for her: she's always thought before she speaks, ever since she was a child. She doesn't want to examine the feeling the words give her, so she rushes on: “And who I am. I know the world isn't perfect but that doesn't change who we are. And what we are is beautiful. Love is love.” Again, she's spoken before thinking, and she gives a half-laugh at the phrase; overused and cliché as it may be, it's true for her. “You know what I mean.”

“I know,” Eliza says gently. “I see it when I look at the two of you.” She taps her camera screen, which has gone dark now, but Kelly knows the photo she's referring to; remembers the look in Alex's eyes. 

“To answer your question, my brother's – well, I think you know James. He's always had my back.”

“Your father passed away when you were both young?”

“Yes,” Kelly confirms. “It was hard, of course. Alex and Kara know about that. But in some ways it brought us closer. My mother – it's been harder for her to accept who I am. The church is such a big part of her life, and I think she'd always hoped I'd turn out a little more – conventional?” Kelly smiles a little, softening what has been an old hurt. “I wasn't really out for a long time, because I was in the service -”

Eliza nods; she watches Kelly intently. It's another Alex mannerism, Kelly thinks, to listen so completely.

“And I think maybe she thought I'd change. Outgrow it, or something.”

“That must be hard,” Eliza says softly.

“For her, as well,” Kelly says. “She does try. I know how much she loves me.”

Eliza reaches for her hand; Kelly gives it, gladly, and the older woman holds it warmly. 

“Parents screw up a lot,” she says, and her gaze darts back to Alex, just for a split second. “Some more than others. We just have to do the best we can, I guess. Keep trying to take care of each other.”

“I like that idea,” Kelly says.

* * *

They eat early at a marina cafe; a patchwork of fries and sandwiches and juice smoothies. The air dampens as they sit in uncomfortably cold metal chairs under the building overhang, looking out over the water. The breeze dies down and the sea darkens and ripples slowly; rhythmically as breathing, and the fading light sparkles the surface. Kelly watches it while the three of them talk, lazily, quietly, making plans for the fall and winter. It's a little thrill, every time she hears Alex talk about what the two of them could do in the future.

Eliza goes back to the house, leaving Kelly and Alex alone to watch the sun set. Kelly's tired, suddenly, feeling the weight of the past few months, of the changes and stressors. Things with Alex will never be simple, she realizes, but sitting here, listening to her talk as the day ends; that's okay, everything will be okay. Alex offers her a hand when the cafe's closing up, and as they walk along the beach back to the car, Kelly leans against her, letting Alex hold her up.

“You should talk to her,” she says, a little sleepily.

“Huh?” Alex says.

“Your mom. Tell her you're worried about what this means, her clearing up around the house. That you're afraid everything's going to change.”

“I'm not -” Alex starts, and then stops. “Okay. Out of curiosity, how did you figure that out? I didn't say anything.”

Kelly shrugs, a little awkwardly with the weight of Alex's arm over her shoulder. “I'm a trained professional.”

“Right,” Alex says. She leans down to the sand, pulling Kelly with her, and traces a hand in it before straightening up. 

“Okay,” Kelly laughs. “What was that? A shell?”

“Nothing,” Alex says.

“It's beautiful here,” Kelly says, casting one long last look at the water. It's almost black in the last rays of the day; turmoil ripples gently beneath the surface.

Alex grimaces. “I don't know. It reminds me of my angry teen years. Also my angry early twenties. Actually, it also reminds me of my angry mid-twenties.”

Kelly laughs. “You're less angry now.”

“My thirties have been pretty good so far.”

“Onward and upward, right?” Kelly asks.

“Definitely onward, anyway.” Alex says, but when Kelly glances at her face, she's smiling. She takes a step sideways and away from her, and Alex's hand traces coldly against her neck. Then Alex's hand drops away, but she can still feel the cold, and then something slipping down her back, harsh and gritty.

“Alex!” Kelly twists awkwardly, trying to reach down the back of her own shirt, and comes away with wet sand. “Ohhh! Seriously?”

“Seriously,” Alex says, her smile widening. She darts away as Kelly takes a step toward her. “You gonna get me back for that?”

“Oh,” says Kelly, pulling the bottom of her shirt out from her pants and trying to shake the sand out. “Oh, you have no idea.”

“Now?” Alex asks. Her eyes are alight with mischief in the last rays of the sun's shadows.

“Not now,” says Kelly, frowning as she pulls her belt away from her body, trying to free the grains of sand, and is rewarded by sand falling down her pants, instead. “But I _will_ get you back. It might not be today. It might not be tomorrow. It'll be when you least expect it.”

Alex regards her for a moment. Kelly tries to freeze the moment, to remember this look, Alex carefree and silly. It's so different from her in their day-to-day life, where she's weighed by tension and responsibilities, love and care. Tonight she looks like her cares weigh nothing.

“I'm not sure whether to be scared or turned on,” Alex says.

And Kelly doesn't reply, just raises an eyebrow and starts walking back to the car.

* * *

“She liked the flowers,” Eliza says later, with a touch of smugness. She gestures to the bouquet, now carefully arranged in a vase in the kitchen. Kelly's in the shower, washing off sand and the day, and Eliza and Alex are drinking wine at the table, Alex's feet up on a second chair.

“You were right, I was wrong,” Alex says, rolling her eyes.

Eliza holds a hand up to one ear. “What was that? I don't think I quite caught it.”

“Thank you,” Alex says sincerely. “Seriously, Mom. It's so weird. When I'm thinking about her, when I'm at work or away from her, it's like – all I can think about is the ways things can go wrong. But when I'm with her, it's like – it's like the sea on a still night. Everything goes quiet and deep and – and beautiful. Okay, that was cheesy.”

“It's not cheesy,” Eliza says. “It's lovely. I'm happy for you.”

“You were right about some other things, too,” Alex says. “I know I'm cautious. Gun shy, I guess. I just – I loved Maggie with my whole heart, you know? I would have done anything to make it work out for us. Almost anything. And I think – since the breakup and since I've been dating, I've really been thinking maybe I'd only get a chance like that once. And I threw it away.”

“You didn't throw it away,” Eliza says. “Alex, there are things in a relationship that – that require compromise. Things you have to accept about the other person, as they accept some of your flaws. But there are also things that you can't compromise on. And you'll lose a part of yourself, if you try.” She sighs. “You know this. I know you know this.”

“I do,” Alex says. “Sometimes it helps to hear it again, though.”

Eliza reaches over the table and takes her hand. “My sweet girl. Any time. Just remember, you're in a better place now. Maggie probably is, too. A difference that big in your relationship – it would have pulled you two apart sooner or later.”

“Yeah,” Alex says. It's over, it's all a long time ago now. There's still a touch of melancholy though, the slightest ache when she thinks about what could have been. If she'd been able to make Maggie into what she wanted. If Maggie had been able to erase Alex's wants, in turn.

They'd have been miserable, she knows. You can't cage a bird and expect it to forget about the sky.

“There's-” Alex starts. She hears the shower turn off and suddenly the house is very quiet. “I was worried-” she adds hesitantly.

“What is it, Alex?”

She takes a breath, then plunges in. “Are you selling the house?”

Eliza laughs. “Is that what's been bothering you?”

Alex inclines her head. “Well, a lot of things are bothering me, but that's up there.”

“It's – Alex,” Eliza says, and slips her hand out of Alex's to pick up her wineglass again. She takes a sip. “Alex, it's crossed my mind.”

“I knew it,” Alex says. “You weren't going to say anything? Did you talk to Kara-”

Eliza puts her glass back down and holds up a hand. “Wait. It's crossed my mind, but that doesn't mean I'm doing it. This house means a lot to me. To all of us. So many of our family memories are here.”

“Exactly,” Alex says hotly. “You can't just throw it away like it's nothing. Like the past didn't mean anything.”

“Alexandra,” Eliza says, a hint of warning in her tone now.

“Forget it,” Alex says bitterly, pushing back her chair. “All of this is the past, right? We just need to move on.”

“Alex-”

“Forget it,” Alex says again.

* * *

Kelly finds her on the balcony. Alex's back is to her; her hands tense on the railing at around the place that had been supporting Kelly's ass close to sixteen hours earlier. Kelly does the mental time calculation, and realizes what a long day it's been. She's loved it – she's seen a side of Alex she hadn't known about – but she's exhausted. Alex must be too.

“Hey,” she says softly.

Alex turns quickly, startled, and Kelly steps back, giving her space.

“Sorry,” Alex says after a second. “You heard that?”

“I wasn't listening,” Kelly says quickly. “I heard – you sounded upset, but I didn't hear details. I wouldn't -”

“It's okay,” Alex says. “It was probably expecting too much for me to go a weekend with Mom without either yelling or getting drunk.”

Kelly studies her. “Do you want to talk? Or I've got reading to catch up on, if you want some space.”

Alex is silent for a long moment, then: “No.”

Kelly feels her brow furrow. “Um, which?”

“I mean, no, yes, I want to talk to you. But not about this.”

“I'm – lost, Alex.”

“I know,” says Alex. “Sorry. It's like my mind's been trying to process everything so hard I can't make it come out clearly.”

Kelly just waits; giving her time.

“It's – I've been worried about us, and, I guess, holding back.” Once Alex starts, the words start to fall out like a waterfall. “It's stupid. This is new. We're new, and I don't want to put pressure on you. We need to just take things one step at a time and not get weird, not get ahead of anything – but I just can't turn it off, you know? I feel like this is too good to be true, and I'm going to mess up, and there's going to be _something_ -” she trails off. “You're not talking.”

“You were talking,” Kelly says simply. “I was listening.”

Alex looks at her. “You were. Of course you were. God, I like you _so_ much, and I'm a mess.”

Kelly moves forward, taking Alex's hands in her own. “You're not a mess. We are still figuring things out, but I get that it's hard not to worry about the future, or make plans and then be afraid it won't work, or – I feel it too, is what I'm saying. Also, I like you too. Just in case you were wondering about that.”

Alex takes a deep breath; lets it go. “Thank you. You really are great at knowing the right thing to say, you know.”

“Not always,” Kelly says. “But – therapist.”

Alex gives a hint of a smile, then sobers. Kelly is about to ask what's on her mind, but Alex speaks first.

“I don't want to hold back. With you. I want to feel everything.”

“Okay,” Kelly says quietly.

“Okay,” Alex says.

They stand there for a little time. It's getting cold, but Kelly doesn't mind.

“I'm trained to withstand torture, you know, but Eliza can get to me every time.”

“Well, that's family,” Kelly says. “So, are you going back in to talk to her?”

Alex sighs. “Yeah. You want to come with?”

“No,” says Kelly. “It's a beautiful night. I think I'll stay out here a little bit longer.”

* * *

When they get back to Kelly's her apartment has the closed-off feeling of having been uninhabited for days. She doesn't spend as much time here as she'd expected when she moved to National City. She's so often at work or at Alex's or out with friends. There's the beginning of a chill in the air, and she turns the heat back on, rubbing her arms while she waits for the place to warm up.

Alex leans against the back of her couch, watching her.

“Back to real life,” she says.

“It's all real life,” Kelly says. “Are you staying?”

Alex grins. “If you'll have me.”

“Oh, I'll have you,” Kelly says. “The question is, can you handle me?”

Alex's eyes widen; her mouth curls at the challenge. “One thing you don't know about me,” she says, and holds out a hand for Kelly to come closer. “I have a lot of stamina.”

Kelly doesn't move. “There's a few things you don't know about me. One or two.”

“Oh, really?”

“Really,” Kelly says. “One is, I like being in charge.”

“Huh,” says Alex. “You're – um, have I been too much?”

“Oh!” Kelly says. “No. No, no, no.” She takes a step forward, to reassure Alex, but stops before she reaches her. “That's not what I meant. I just mean, sometimes I like to change things up. If you're up for that. I can show you?”

Alex puts her hand back down by her side, and her body language relaxes. Kelly hadn't noticed how tense she had become, but now the catlike laziness was back again – a good thing, considering how much Kelly liked seeing her lover slow and satisfied.

“I'd like that,” Alex says simply.

“Okay,” Kelly says, and lets out a breath. She gestures to her bathroom. “Would you like to freshen up?”

“Always so polite,” Alex says, her tone bordering on mocking. “I'm good. I'm ready.”

“Always so romantic,” Kelly says, and for a moment thinks she's overstepped, been too harsh, too sarcastic, but after Alex blinks, she laughs. Kelly's learned to tone down this side of herself over the years; learned to get along with her lovers and not push for what she wants. It's not healthy, she realizes suddenly. It's not good for her to always give other people what they want.

“Well,” she says, after a moment. “I'm going to shower. Wait for me. There's wine in the top cabinet,” she waves in its direction. “Stronger stuff in the hutch. You know where the glasses are.”

“I know where everything is,” Alex says, and still watching her, moves around the couch to sit down. “Go make yourself pretty, then. Leave me here all alone and lonely. I mean, I thought you were pretty enough already, but -”

“Charm doesn't work on me,” Kelly says. “Neither do guilt trips. Have a drink, I'll be back.”

Alex raises an eyebrow. “I look forward to that.”

* * *

Kelly takes her time in the shower, letting hot water sluice over her body, letting herself regain energy, relax tense muscles and let go of some of the worries she's been carrying, and dries off and moisturizes. Her regular makeup's still in her overnight bag, but she has bits and pieces still in the bathroom cabinet, and she puts on a little and brushes out her hair. Kelly's never been one for gazing long into the mirror, but she gives herself a moment tonight; observes the planes and soft curve of her own face, tracing a finger over one cheekbone. There's a brief moment of self-doubt - _is this what Alex wants?_ \- and she acknowledges it, breathes through it, and remembers the previous morning: Midvale, the balcony, the morning air, Alex's breath coming in gasps against her ear, and she knows, undoubtedly, that she is what Alex wants.

There's a negligee hanging on the back of her bathroom door that Alex left here after date night a few weeks ago – Kelly keeps meaning to give it back. She gets the impression Alex doesn't dress up a lot, and she appreciated the effort. She thinks so much about how strong Alex is – the lines of her body, the muscles of her forearms, her long fingers – that it sometimes surprises her to remember how delicate and pretty she is. There's a fine fragility to her features Kelly finds captivating – she could stare at Alex for hours and never get her fill. Alex, of course, would feel awkward after a minute, would try to say something funny to deflect, so Kelly doesn't often take all the time she wants.

The gown still smells like the perfume Alex wears for special occasions – heavy and spicy, redolent, and it reminds Kelly of the two of them together, of Alex's musky sweetness. She slips it over her head; it's a little too long and the lace crests the swell of her breasts, and she pulls her hair out from underneath it and opens the door.

Alex is sitting on her couch, head back against the rest, her eyes half-closed and wisps of red hair falling in her face. There are two glasses of wine on the table in front of her, one of them down to the last sip. 

“Hey,” Alex says, when she hears Kelly approach, and, turning her head, takes in her appearance. “Oh.”

Kelly's suddenly cautious; she smooths the front of the negligee, silk sticking beneath her suddenly-damp palms to outline her nipples. “Okay?” she asks.

Alex opens her mouth; wets her lips, and nods. “Yeah. That's a good look on you.”

“Okay, so,” says Kelly, as much to reassure herself as Alex. “I want to – to try something, if it's all right with you. I want to take the lead tonight.”

There's a pause, and Alex raises an eyebrow. “Uh, you've _taken the lead_ plenty of times, if I'm remembering right. Is this about yesterday? Because I feel like the conditions weren't exactly right for -”

“No,” Kelly says. “Not like that. I mean, I tell you what to do. You do what I say.”

A slow smile spreads across Alex's face. “Um, _okay_. I'm here for that. I'm more than here for that. Holy shit,” she adds, in an undertone Kelly almost doesn't catch.

She steps closer; straddles Alex's legs with her own and runs a gentle finger down her lover's lips. “Ground rules,” she says, and Alex nods, her gaze fixed on Kelly. “You say slow down; I slow down. You say stop; I stop. Clear?”

Alex nods again, eyes wide. 

“Say it, Alex.”

Alex wets her lips again. “Uh, I say if I want to slow down; I say if I want to stop. I'm – anticipating that won't be a problem -” 

“Take your clothes off,” Kelly says, and takes a step back.

Alex leans forward and shrugs out of her jacket at lightning speed.

“No,” Kelly says sharply. “Slow. I want to watch you.”

Alex visibly swallows, and this time moves her hand to the buttons of her shirt slowly, slipping one at a time undone until it hangs open, the sky-blue of her satiny bra visible through the opening, her gaze still on Kelly. “This okay?” she asks, voice low and husky.

“It's okay,” Kelly says. “It would be better if you were touching yourself.”

Alex inhales sharply. “Fuck,” she says, almost idly, to herself. 

“Touch your breasts,” Kelly says. “You can take your shirt off,” she adds, and Alex complies, letting it slip off her arms and fall back on the couch. “You have such beautiful breasts,” she says, and Alex lets her gaze drop; lets her breath come out in a scoff even as she traces her fingers along the fabric of her bra, circling the nipples Kelly can see standing out in peaks under the cloth. “You do.” Kelly steps forward again, and leans over her; traces a hand under her chin and drags her gaze back up. “Don't brush this off, Alex. You're beautiful.”

“ _You're_ beautiful,” Alex says, and her voice is almost a mutter. “You're – I don't know, model beautiful. And kind. Incredibly smart – scary smart. You're perfect.”

Kelly hesitates. “Nothing's perfect, Alex.”

“You are,” Alex says more firmly, and moves forward. There's an awkward moment while Alex rearranges her legs so she can trap Kelly between them and loosely hook her feet behind Kelly's ankles.

“Trying to trip me?”

“Trying to keep you,” Alex says. There's something in her tone that gives Kelly pause. She lets her hand drop. 

“I'm here,” she says, a little uncertainly. “Is this okay? I feel like this is – I don't know.”

Alex leans forward; laces her fingers through Kelly's. “We're good,” she promises, her voice quiet. They both look at their joined hands. “You know, this Overthinkers Anonymous meeting has terrible catering.”

“You said you weren't hungry.”

“Well, not for food,” Alex says.

Kelly leans in and kisses her. It starts gently, her mouth soft and pliant against Alex's, but Alex pushes back at her; open, needy. Within seconds the kiss has devolved into something hot and wet and wanton; Alex leaning forward into her, unyielding, and her mouth firm against Kelly's, the taste of wine on her tongue. She feels herself dizzying, feels the pull in her lower belly and cunt, her legs start to tremble, and she pushes Alex back with one finger on her breastbone.

Alex looks up at her, mouth slightly parted and her eyes dark. Kelly takes a second to remember that look, to freeze it in time for when Alex isn't here and she needs inspiration. Then Alex reaches for her, one hand snaking behind her neck to pull her in for another kiss, and Kelly resists – just a touch, but Alex immediately lets go.

“I'm in charge, remember?” she says softly, and Alex's quizzical look disappears, replaced by something darker, more carnal.

“I remember,” Alex says, and then, with a hint of a smile: “So, are you going to take charge or -? Because I think we've established I don't take direction that well. I'll be a challenge.”

“Tease,” Kelly says, under her breath, and then out loud: “Oh, you're constantly a challenge.”

Alex laughs, delightedly, and leans in again, but this time Kelly's ready for her. She meet the forward momentum with the flat of her hand against Alex's collarbone, and pushes her back into the couch with some force. Alex gives a surprised huff, and Kelly takes the opportunity to untangle her legs and straddle Alex's lap, the negligee hiking up her thighs. Kelly leans in for a kiss, and Alex's hands palm her thighs; settle firmly around her ass, pulling her in closer.

She pulls back, mouth still open, and gives Alex a warning look. Alex, looking sheepish, puts her hands out to the side as if in surrender.

“I can touch you, right?”

“You can touch,” Kelly concedes. “Just remember -”

“Who's in charge,” Alex finishes for her, a smile spreading across her face. “Right. I might need reminding. Again. Once or twice.”

Kelly sighs, a little too dramatically, and places a hand on each of Alex's, holding them down. She leans in for a kiss again, and this time Alex is pliant against her. She shifts her hips and feels the roughness of Alex's jeans against her bare skin; feels her own wetness dampening the fabric.

She knows Alex can feel it; hears the almost inaudible whine from her lover's mouth as she grinds down. Alex turns her hands under Kelly's, gripping her fingers, and she's canting her hips up toward her when Kelly releases her and moves off her lap, ending up sitting sideways on the couch beside her.

Alex watches her, but doesn't move.

"Take your jeans off," Kelly says.

Alex bites her lip. "Slowly, right?" She stands up, and moves close enough that Kelly's gaze is level with her waist, and then runs her hands down her stomach, impossibly slowly, rubbing circles onto her skin. Kelly feels her eyes opening wider, and she stills as Alex moans, almost under her breath, shifts her hips, teases the button of her jeans without undoing it.

"Is this," Alex says, and her breath hitches as she traces a finger down to her own belly button, and Kelly watches her compose herself. "This what you had in mind?"

Kelly takes a slow breath, willing her voice not to shake. "Getting there."

Alex laughs, deep and low. "Oh, I'm definitely getting there. Don't know about you. Maybe if I could-" She leans down, sliding a palm up Kelly's leg, but Kelly takes her hand, runs her fingers along the length of Alex's palm, then replaces it at Alex's waist.

"Pants, Alex," she reminds her.

"Right," Alex says, with a hint of disappointment. "Pants." The disappointment's gone in a second, though, along with any residing awkwardness, as she's clearly taking this as a challenge, and she runs her hands over her own body again, touching her breasts, pinching a nipple through the fabric of her bra, dipping a hand down her flat stomach and inching into the waistband of her jeans, her eyes on Kelly the whole time.

Kelly meets her gaze, in between watching Alex's hands slowly traverse her own body, and tries not to writhe in place.

It's impossibly slow, when Alex slips the button from its loop, and Kelly finds herself holding her breath, the room completely silent. The only sound breaking the quiet is Alex slowly, so slowly, pulling her zipper down.

Kelly watches her face, then. Alex's mouth is open, her eyes dark and focused on her; intent. 

"You're so beautiful," Kelly tells her, and is gratified that Alex is too distracted to shrug the compliment off, and instead dips her hand into the panties visible under her unzipped jeans, her fingers moving slowly and tracing patterns on her skin. Her hands travel lower, and her jeans slide down her hips, ending up pooling around her feet, and Alex steps out of them, her hand still in her panties, her gaze still on Kelly.

Alex groans, then, as her hand moves lower; Kelly sees her wrist flex through the thin blue cloth of her panties; sees her pinch harder at her nipple with the other hand.

"I'm so wet for you," Alex says, her voice so low it's almost a growl. "I'm so - _fuck_. Don't you want to touch me?"

Kelly keeps her hands at her sides for an admirable few moments. It's too much, though, far too much, the hint of sheen on Alex's skin; the pink flush over her chest and cheeks, her hand still impossibly moving, the _scent_ of her, sweet and sweaty and animal - 

She puts her hands on Alex's hips, tries to control her own tremble. "You're really bad at following instructions."

"I've been told," Alex says smugly, as Kelly slides her panties down. "Would you put your mouth on me? I feel - uh - I feel like I'm gonna come apart if you don't touch me soon."

"Demanding," Kelly comments, and bends lower, guiding Alex's legs up one by one so she can step out of the clothes wrapped around her lower legs. "Take off your bra. I want to see your breasts. I want to see -" She takes a breath. "I want to see if you're flushed all over."

Alex groans, and moves her hands to her back. 

"Slowly," Kelly reminds her again.

Alex slows deliberately, almost mockingly, and her bra loosens in front. Kelly has a clear view from the front of her, and Alex brings her hands back around, slides the straps off her shoulders one by one, and lets the bra fall to the ground between them. Her skin _is_ flushed, Kelly notes, rosy along the tops of her breasts, her nipples standing out erect. Her mouth has gone dry, and she swallows, feeling the need to possess Alex, to touch every part of her. She pushes the feeling down, just for now, as Alex smooths her hands over her own breasts, as she rolls her hips toward Kelly.

Alex's breath quickens again, rasping against the silence, and she takes another half-step toward the couch, her shins hitting the edge. She doesn't reach for Kelly this time, but Kelly can see the effort she's making; the tension in her. 

"Please," Alex says quietly, and blinks heavily. "Do I need to beg? Because trust me, I'll beg."

Kelly bites down on her lip, unable to stifle a giggle. "That I'd actually like to see."

"One time offer," Alex says, raising an eyebrow. "'Cause I don't know if this is going to be worth my while."

"Oh, really?" says Kelly.

"Mm-hmm," Alex hums, her inflection rising to a gasp on the second syllable, her fingers still working. She stills, then; raises her hand to her mouth and sucks on her fingers one by one, her eyes not leaving Kelly's.

The whimper is out before Kelly can suppress it; low and whiny and hungry, and she sees the corner of Alex's mouth twitch.

Alex can play the hard games, though - she bites down on her lip and takes a breath. "How do you want me?" she asks. "Hands and knees? Licking my way up your thighs? Doing your every - " she draws the word out, then sighs. "Bidding. Do you want me to fuck you; my fingers in you and my mouth on your tits, my tongue inside you; do you want to spank me; do you want to fuck me, hard, bent over the bed and you controlling my every move, your fingers sliding into me from behind, thrusting, pushing me into the bed, pressing me, _pounding_ into me -"

Kelly is panting. "You're good at this," she manages.

Alex smiles. "I'm highly motivated."

"Bed," Kelly says, and holds out her hands. Alex grasps them in her own, helping her to her feet, and then tugs her backward, as though she's unwilling to take her eyes off Kelly for a second. They pause before the threshold, the two of them, and Kelly leans in for a kiss. It's surprisingly sweet, almost innocent at first; Alex's mouth soft against hers, letting her take the lead, but Kelly turns it into something else, nipping and dragging at Alex's lower lip, then thrusting in with her tongue into the wet heat of her mouth. Alex matches her then, barely missing a beat before her tongue meets Kelly's, twisting and pushing back. She's off balance for a second: Alex is heavier than her; lithe and strong and muscular, and she steps back and almost stumbles.

Alex steadies her though, with a hand on one elbow, and pauses a minute to let Kelly right herself. 

"Okay?"

"Yeah," says Kelly, and after a beat, moves back in to prove it. She can feel her body overheating, her pulse racing, and she presses her body against Alex's, the only barrier between them thin silk, her nipples so hard they ache. The ache's in her cunt, too, desperate for the stretch of Alex's fingers, and she takes a step to the side and pulls Alex with her, into the bedroom and pushes her down on the bed.

Alex sits, watching her with wide eyes, completely naked, breath hitching, and Kelly wants to stop, wants to file this moment away with the others, wants to remember the darkness and want in Alex's eyes, the trickle of sweat down her neck, her thighs falling open as she leans back and the sight of her sex, soft pink and open and wet. 

She stares for a long moment, then moves in and traces a path from Alex's knee up to her thigh with her mouth. There's another rivulet of sweat along her leg, and Kelly licks at it, savoring the taste of sweat on her tongue.

Alex shifts beneath her. “Sorry,” she says. “It's like ninety degrees in here.”

“I like it warm,” Kelly says. “I like you -” she pushes up higher, traces the crease where Alex's thigh meets her hip, “Sweating.”

Alex groans, and cants her hips upward. Kelly takes pity, then, figuring she's teased her lover enough for now, and she shifts until she's firmly between Alex's legs, wraps her hands around Alex's strong thighs. She pulls herself in, and puts her open mouth over Alex's sex, unable to stifle her own soft whine at the scent of her, at the touch of Alex's vulva against her tongue, silk and salt.

Alex grinds down against her immediately, Kelly's name on her lips, and Kelly traces her tongue around her labia, taking in the velvet softness; moving up and circling her clit until Alex cries out, then moving back to circle, dip her tongue into Alex's opening, tracing patterns on and in her.

Alex is close almost immediately, but Kelly wants to take her time - she can feel in the tremble of Alex's thighs when she's about to come, and she brings her lover back down again quietly, gently.

It's quiet and gentle for Kelly, anyway - Alex, conversely, is louder than Kelly has ever heard her, a stream-of-consciousness babble rising into a crescendo that Kelly can't fully understand from her position between Alex's thighs, although she thinks she gets the general idea. Alex tastes like a summer storm, sweet and heavy and sparkling on her tongue; musky and alive, and Kelly can't get enough; can't stop her own hum and vibration of want against her lover's skin. She can feel the dampness between her own thighs as she shifts to position herself better; feel the hint of lightheadedness that precludes her own orgasm, even as she's not even being touched. Alex's hands scrabble at the sheets for purchase; raise once to Kelly's hair and then drop back down to pull at the sheet again, and Kelly hears threads popping, and pushes her tongue into Alex again, her mouth pressed flush against skin, the noises Alex makes rising to an almost-scream as her thighs shake uncontrollably and her body curves upward.

Kelly draws back, then, with a last suck at Alex's labia, and for a moment there's silence. A heartbeat, and she loosens her hands from around Alex's thighs, where they've gripped so hard that red marks remain in her wake. Alex is panting, shallowly but quietly, and Kelly makes her way back up her lover's body, settling herself beside her.

"What are you-" Alex starts, the words coming out on a whine, and then: "I didn't-"

"I know," Kelly says. Alex's eyes are unfocused, her hair tangled in the back, but Kelly can see how hard she fights to get herself focused, to bring herself back down to earth.

"Uh," she says, and unfixes her hands from the sheets, flexing her fingers a little as she turns her body to face Kelly's. "Why'd you stop? Let's go back, can we go back? I'm still - I'm about to-"

Kelly leans over her, then, and kisses her mouth, delicately, almost chastely. Alex moans again when she pulls away.

"Remember Midvale?" Kelly says sweetly.

Alex blinks. "Uh. Yeah?"

"Remember the beach?"

"I, yeah, I remember. What-"

"Remember the cold sand down my back?"

There's a long moment before realization dawns, before she sees the clarity in Alex's eyes.

"Ohhh," she says. "Oh, you're evil. You are pure evil."

"Payback," says Kelly succinctly.

Alex raises her head off the bed, then bangs it back down again. "Oh, God. I regret everything."

"Told you you would," Kelly tells her. "This is not even close to the greatest evil I'm capable of, you know."

"Oh God," Alex says again. "Please, if this is moderate evil, please, please, I'll never make you mad again."

"Don't tease me," Kelly says firmly, and this time when she kisses Alex, it's not chaste anymore; it's hot and wet and a promise.

"I won't," Alex says. "No more teasing. Serious behavior only from now on. God, Kel-"

"Apology accepted," Kelly says, and runs her fingers down Alex's belly, traces a swirl at the top of her pubic bone, and then moves them further down over coarse hair and soft skin and circles them in Alex's wetness. Alex bites down on her lip, silent this time, and Kelly enters her with two fingers, feeling the push of resistance against her; the swollen bud of Alex's clit against her thumb. She's so ready; Kelly flexes her fingers inside her and feels Alex clench around her almost immediately.

Alex pants. "More. I'm-" 

Kelly adds another finger, feeling Alex stretch around her, and curls them slowly, feeling the press of resistance. There's a long moment of silence, and then Alex cries out, her whole body shaking in a now-familiar pattern. She slides her fingers back; gently swirling over Alex's sex, and lets her lover come down. Alex's eyes are shut tight as she rides out an aftershock, and Kelly moves in closer, wrapping herself around the other woman, feeling her hand, still wet, as she clasps it around Alex's back.

In a minute, Alex's breathing slows, and her eyes open. There's something wondrous about her face after she comes, her eyes wide and soft and searching, a calmness about her that Kelly soaks in.

"Hey," she says, and raises her hand, tracing Kelly's cheekbone with her thumb.

"Hey," Kelly says back, and leans in to kiss her again. It's quiet this time; undemanding, but when she draws away, Alex follows her.

Kelly raises an eyebrow.

"Not done with you yet," Alex says, and moves her hand to interlace it with one of Kelly's, then pulls her upward. "Up."

Kelly's confused; awkwardly trying to move in Alex's sway. She winds up on her knees, unsure of what they're doing, and then Alex grabs one of her knees, moves it over her body and settles herself between Kelly's legs.

"Oh," Kelly says. "I don't - I might hurt you."

"You won't," Alex says, with more confidence than Kelly feels, and wraps her hands around Kelly's thighs, tugging her downward.

Kelly's still nervous, trying to brace herself and take her weight on her knees, when Alex's tongue touches her clit, and suddenly her awkwardness disappears. Alex's mouth is so hot, and she's already soaking wet - she's felt her own wetness, the result of what she's been doing to Alex - and Alex swirls her tongue into Kelly's depths, and the _sounds_ \- Alex groans against the slick sounds, but Kelly's barely noticing. The angle is so different like this - more direct, like Alex is connected directly to her core, and she forgets about being careful, forgets even about not crushing Alex, and grinds down. She hears Alex laugh; feels it against her sex, and the other woman moves her arms further around Kelly's legs, pulling her further down and down. She can hear her own breath, her blood pumping through her veins, and she comes so quickly it's embarrassing, a small hot pulse of pleasure, the warmth threading through her back and thighs, her moan drawn-out as she reaches for more contact; laces one of her hands through Alex's. She steadies her breathing and brings the weight of her body back, raises one leg to step up and off Alex.

Alex keeps her grip on Kelly's thigh, though, and Kelly feels her own brow furrow. 

"Alex, I can't," she says. "It's too much. I never-"

It's still new between the two of them, and Kelly still feels the frisson of anxiety that marks taking a new lover. Sex has always been complex for her – sometimes filled with emotions that threaten to overwhelm her, sometimes filled with the kind of overthinking that leaves her frustrated and unable to hand over control. They've talked about it, a little, and Alex seems to have a particular skill for wresting control as well as a lot of patience, but Kelly's still nervous. Maybe Alex is so good to her because it's new and fresh. Maybe she'll get tired of a lover who doesn't always come at her touch. Maybe she'll get annoyed with Kelly. It's happened before.

Now, though, Alex hums against her thigh, the slightest vibration, bringing her back to the present. "Trust me?" she asks, so quietly Kelly almost misses it.

"I do," she says, after a beat, and she means it, and feels a coolness against her clit. It takes her a moment to realize Alex is breathing against her; blowing cool air over her, and she twitches. Everything's so sensitive as to be almost painful, but Alex just waits, and after a moment Kelly feels calmer, feels her pulse steadying too.

"Okay," she says, after a minute. "That's - I think I'm okay to-"

She doesn't even have the words out before she feels Alex suck hard on her clit – she hears the wet slap of skin against skin, feels Alex's teeth scraping against her, and she's so taken by surprise she comes like a sunburst, spreading and spreading throughout her body, her vision narrowed to a pinpoint. She feels her teeth clench together as she crests, feels her hair brushing back on her shoulders, and she grips her own thigh with one hand, trying to get a purchase on something. She's still rising on the wave when Alex does - _something_ with her tongue, a twist and curl and Kelly can feel fingers penetrating her; hard and rough and fast thrusting; she comes again almost simultaneously, nerves red-hot and the shiver of pleasure through her body almost frightening in its intensity. She can't stay upright – she falls forward, putting her hands out to catch herself, and moves herself to Alex's side to collapse next to her, hearing herself laugh out loud when her jaw relaxes, but still almost out-of-control of her body, heat and pure pleasure still radiating up her, black stars in her vision. She twists her knee as she lands, but she barely notices, it's just one more feeling added to the overload. Alex nuzzles into her, and Kelly kisses her absently, tasting herself on her lover's tongue.

“Okay?” Alex says.

Kelly holds up a finger – one minute – and notices she's shaking. She raises it to Alex's face, and Alex kisses her hand, then takes it in hers and presses it against her own cheek.

It's a few minutes before Kelly's breathing gets back to normal.

“Fucking _hell_ , Alex.”

Alex laughs. “I don't think I've ever heard you curse before.”

“I did two tours, trust me, it's not unusual. I don't think I can feel my toes, are my toes still there?”

Alex looks down the length of her body. “Still there.”

“Oh,” Kelly exhales. “That was crazy. That – I don't – I've _never_ -” Alex just grins in reply, and Kelly swats at her. “Oh my God,” she says, still feeling the headiness. “That never happens. I get so sensitive.”

“Yeah,” Alex says, kissing her fingers again. “I gave that some thought.”

“Well, um, _thank you_.”

Alex smiles, a private, filthy smile that Kelly only ever sees in the bedroom. “That was insanely hot. You're insanely hot.”

Kelly huffs out a laugh, but she's too tired and relaxed to argue. She's getting sleepy – a glance at her alarm clock shows Alex will have to get up for work in six hours, with Kelly not far behind. 

“So to recap tonight,” Alex says. “I'm definitely the bigger person.”

Kelly raises an eyebrow; looks at her. “I think you realized that to keep this going would be maintaining the cycle of revenge. Which isn't healthy. Or, maybe you just realized that I _will_ win.”

“You're a little bit scary.”

“I know,” says Kelly.

“I think I'm into it.”

“I know that, too.” 

“Thank you,” Alex says, after a pause. 

“What did I do?” Kelly asks.

“Went to Midvale with me. Salvaged my sucky weekend. Stopped me from killing my mother. She's not selling the house, by the way. I was going to talk to you about that on the way home, but you were asleep most of the drive.”

“Sorry,” says Kelly. “It's been a long week.”

“No,” Alex says. “It was cute. Anyway, she's not selling now, she just wanted to clear out some old things, so I was worrying about pretty much nothing.”

“So it helped to talk to her.”

“Yeah,” Alex admits. “It will happen sometime, though. I hate the thought of it.” She buries her face in Kelly's neck. Kelly reaches up with one hand, and smooths her lover's hair; feeling the softness of the razor-cut ends against her palm. “It scares me,” Alex says, voice muffled. “To think of things changing. Of losing the house, losing all the memories from when we were kids. Losing her.”

“We can't stop things from changing,” Kelly says. “Sometimes I wish we could. But we have to keep moving on. When it happens, it will be hard, but you'll be okay. It'll be a new chapter, that's all.”

“I know I've said this before, but you must be such an amazing therapist,” Alex says. “How much do you charge?”

“I can't take you,” Kelly says. “Conflict of interest.”

“Oh, you can take me,” Alex says, with a slow smile.

“Not everything's a double entendre, Alex.”

“Freud again and his lying lies,” Alex sighs.

“I really liked Eliza,” Kelly says, after a moment. “Thank you for taking me to meet her.”

“She likes you too, a lot,” says Alex. “I think she likes you more than me now.”

Kelly laughs, shaking her head. “That's ridiculous.”

Alex acknowledges. “Yeah, I know. I love her so much. Sometimes she drives me crazy, but I love her so much, all the same.”

“Well, that's family.”

Alex says: “I ended up having a really amazing weekend.”

“Probably wasn't as good as mine,” Kelly says. “What the hell was that thing you did with your tongue?” 

Alex just smiles, and they breathe in rhythm for a while. In a moment, Kelly will have to get up, will have to go to the bathroom and wash her face and pin her hair, and Alex will shower, and she'll turn down the heat, and they'll sleep and then wake up and get ready for their day. But for the moment, they just curl into each other, thinking about nothing in particular and feeling the warmth of each other's skin.


End file.
